We talk about the Weather

Some places, it's considered lack of finesse or imagination to discuss the weather, but in Colorado Springs, its diversity provides a wealth of conversation material. A sampling of the accounts I could provide :

• How I learned the hard way to wear long underwear, plus dressing for blizzard-like conditions for my 1-minute walk to class
• "Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, we were consistently colder than the North Pole"
• How I almost died slipping on black ice
• . . . and then it was sunny and quite mild
• The snow melted so quickly!
• No, it's not that cold out anymore, never mind the cold! Where the heck did the bluster come from? A minute ago nine gusts of wind literally lifted me off my feet! I almost dropped my soymilk!
  

All this in the same week!

Clumsy

I don't know how many times I've fallen down the stairs in my dorm this year. Tons.

How many steps are there, you ask? There are four.
What are they made of? A very traction-friendly rubber.
What's at the bottom? Carpet.

Yet the four steps outside of the dorm house, which are often coated in ice, give me no trouble.
Obviously there's something wrong with me.

What did the policeman say to his tummy?

I've got you under a vest!

also,

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeño business!